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For five or so years, roughly between 2016 and the beginning of 2021, most of my days started in similar fashion. I would wake up. And before rolling out of bed, I would check Twitter to see what awful thing Donald Trump had said while I had slept.
I wasn't the only American with this bad habit, nor the only journalist. Most of the Trump-Twitter era felt like the worst stages of addiction at times -- not wanting to take the hit, but also powerlesss not to -- but mostly it felt like WHITE NOISE's "airborne toxic event": All dread, all around us, all the time.
And then Trump got kicked off Twitter. He left office.
For most of the last two years, my own sense of ever-present dread subsided. Somewhat. I've started reading novels again. I'm happier and healthier. Life has been better.
But now I feel the dread creeping back.
There have been signs of that possibility over the last few months as Donald managed to worm his way back into the news, for better or for worse -- the documents at Mar a Lago, the sitdown dinner with white supremacists, the 2024 presidential campaign, the "Ron DeSanctimonious" taunts. Trump has never really left the spotlight, certainly not as much as I'd hoped an anticipated when he left office, but he wasn't always in the foreground either.
That changed this week.
If you're the kind of person who reads this newsletter, then you're also aware that Trump last week sounded the alarm he would be arrested last Tuesday on New York charges related to his (alleged) hush money payoff to Stormy Daniels. Spoiler: He wasn't.
There were other things going on this week. The whole banking system went a bit wobbly there for a few days. That was kind of important. But Trump's screaming and threats against New York D.A. Alvin Bragg captured a huge chunk of our attention. Again. If charges ever do come, you can believe it's going to be the Main Thing on the news for awhile.
We'll be consumed by Donald Trump once again.
It's sometimes hard to tell the difference between an authoritarian and a narcissist. Both seek to colonize your attention. And in a democratic society -- as we supposedly still are -- the conundrum gets more difficult: Supposedly sunshine is a disinfectant. People should know that Trump is making thinly veiled threats against the peace and well-being of the country. But maybe highlighting those threats, putting sunshine on Trump, merely feeds him and makes him more powerful?
And if that's the case, what exactly are we supposed to do? Because ignoring Donald Trump doesn't seem to be an option.
We should have some answers to these questions, after spending most of the last decade dealing with the man. But he's still confounding us.
And so: The Donald Dread threatens to return.
For the moment, that dread still isn't quite the phenomenon it once was. I don't know if that's because we've gotten marginally wiser to his shtick or if it's simply because he hasn't started posting on Twitter yet. (I assume he will eventually make a triumphal return.) But having to think about Donald Trump again -- to any extent -- feels terrible. It's only going to get worse.
What I’m reading
The Deadwood Bible: A Lie Agreed Upon Matt Zoller Seitz is my favorite movie and television critic working today, and DEADWOOD is probably my favorite TV show ever. This is clearly a labor of love for Seitz, who does a deep dive into the life of show creator David Milch — an addict and a gambler with a chaotic working process — to give us something deeper and more thoughtful than a mere “making of” account. If you love this show, with all its profane Shakepearean speeches, as much as I do, this book is a must-read.